PRE-SHOW:
R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett
I wish that I cared about either of these guys. But excluding Big Show, on the main roster; there are no two guys I care less about. I can't believe Wade Barrett is still an act, even in his many different iterations over the years. I don't feel like anyone cares. I cared so much more about jobbers back in the 80's than I do Wade Barrett. And R-Truth yelling to kick off a show just makes me wonder if I should be doing something else. Nonetheless these two 'Kings' are wrestling and it's on my television. There's a commercial for the PPV itself and the WWE Network in the middle of the match. Things come back and these two are trading blows. Barrett gets a close two-count fall off some weird awkward sidewalk slam. Barrett goes for a royal bullhammer, Truth ducks it and rolls him up. Kick out on two count and then Barrett hits the bullhammer for the three count fall. Not sure what story was told there, or why anyone would care. I guess Barrett is still the King of WWE.
Next is Paul Heyman answering questions from fans - this is okay. It kind of reminds me of stuff they did before the internet existed to soup up a PPV. Asked how many suplexes Lesner will deliver tonight. Always fun to watch that. It is neat to get a Brock Lesnar PPV match, it's become a spectacle. Last question, Heyman is asked what happens if Brock does lose to Seth Rollins. Heyman refuses to answer the question because Brock Lesnar doesn't deal in 'if's. Says Lesnar will take Rollins to Suplex City tonight and win the belt. And that segment is over.
MAIN SHOW:
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
With as much as I notice JBL pointing out that Sheamus' Money in the Bank contract 'virtually guarantees him to be WWE Champion', I fully expect him to cash in at some point and whiff. So a match commences between these two with nothing on the line. The crowd is behind Orton early. Orton hits the stunner for the win. Kind of a surprising result to have the briefcase holder lose cleanly like that but shows that Orton is always going to be strong and a drawing card. I like Orton.
WWE Tag Team Championship: New Day vs. Prime Time Players (c)
I remember when the tag match on a card would be the best match on the card back in the golden era. These two teams have a lot of flash in terms of costume, and New Day has an okay feel to it; but it's comprised of two guys who are a bit of a tired act. I am trying hard to care about the tag division again and a title match should be a big deal. I can't put my finger on why I don't care. Maybe It's because I was spoiled with Hart Foundation, Legion of Doom, Demolition, the Colossal Connection, the Natural Disasters, the British Bulldogs, the Killer Bees, Strike Force, and so on. Big Titus Young is kind of an impressive specimen and athletic talent. Kofi hits a near fall on him in the center of the ring. Business is picking up and that manager type guy for New Day is outside the ring yelling like a banshee really taking away from the action in the ring which isn't bad. He's really trying too hard. Titus O'Neill hits his finish off a quick tag and gets the 1-2-3 to retain the titles. Not bad but not compelling. Prime Time Players seem like they have a decent little following in the crowd.
Fair amount of Divas build in between segments here. I really can't get into the Divas stuff either. The only difference in this and the tag circuit is I've never cared about it. I hear a fair amount of buzz about the three divas on screen, Charlotte, the NXT Divas Champ and of course Paige. I guess there's a triple threat Divas match coming tonight.
But, alas; a match I do care about Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns. Two of my favorites.
Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns
I don't really care which superstar wins this - I do want to see a clean win one way or another and/or a Roman Reigns heel turn. He has to do something to flip the switch. WWE isn't going to let Wyatt go over on him I don't think. That's what makes this match interesting is something has to give, then again the WWE has buried Wyatt over time. No reason to think they'll do anything different here.
Wyatt is wearing the red pants and a shirt with all kinds of print on it. I miss the black shirt, white pants Wyatt look. Here comes Reigns through the crowd. He's been on a hell of a run the last several PPV's. Reigns looks to have more of a mean streak or stone cold mean look in his eyes tonight. Maybe just a coincidence. Slow pace to start, both guys trading a lot of blows and strikes. Good match starting to develop. Bray hits a flying tackle on Reigns. A couple big clotheslines on Wyatt from Reigns. A mention of Bray being crazy like 'The Moondogs" from back in another era. Reigns goes into the steps outside the ring, that's a bump. I think one of these guys needs to head through a table for a 'wow' moment on this PPV. Reigns eyes don't look quite as blue as he makes his big comeback. Awesome move by Wyatt as he was laying on the apron edge and Reigns went for his usual apron move. Wyatt hits that back slam move for the second time on the outside. "Using his body as a weapon" I hear them (JBL) call it. Two count in the ring. Another close fall after some nifty counters, this is a good match but the fans can feel the result. WWE needs to somehow let Wyatt go over clean here. Sister Abigail countered into Superman Punch, kick out on 2 and 1/2. Exciting 2 and 1/2 by Bray again off a wicked clothesline. I am into this match. It's good. Creepwalk by Bray Wyatt now, Sister Abigail countered with headbutts and clotheslines in the corner. Samoan drop with Wyatt elbowing him on the way down. The fans should be chanting this loudly, but they aren't because Reigns is invincible and they know the outcome. Action spills outside, Reigns into the barricade. He's grabbing a chair, Wyatt that is. Fans are booing. Reigns is throwing four chairs into the ring. Some hooded guy attacks Reigns, powerbomb onto the apron, and then Sister Abigail for 1-2-3.
The hooded man is Luke Harper. He looks to be back in the family. I was pretty happy with that match and WWE did a good job not doing the predictable thing.
Divas Triple Thread Match: Snuka, Sasha Banks, and someone vs. Charlotte, Paige, and someone, vs. the Bellas and someone
Ah man, I just can't care. Even Stone Cold Steve Austin has been commenting on these Divas matches being the best match on the card. Some N-X-T chants in the crowd which is cool. The bet part about a Divas match in the past, is you know they can't go more than 8 or 9 minutes. The scary part is now that they're acting like it's some breath-taking wrestling; it might go a lot more than that tonight. Even if they're bumping it's like; it's women and it's not that cool to watch. I guess Charlotte is Ric Flair's daughter. Sasha Banks is built like a brick shithouse. Charlotte has the figured eight locked in, a version of her daddy's hold and gets the submission. Charlotte Flair is awful to look at. Paige and Becky? also get to celebrate in the win. I am celebrating that it's done. Just as I suspected, it probably took twenty minutes. I didn't watch closely but that Snuka chick who probably has a dong didn't get in the ring. I always thought she would be a divas force.
United States Championship Match: Kevin Owens vs. John Cena (c)
These two have had two perfect matches so far with this one figuring to be the send off in what has been an incredible rivalry. You can almost make a DVD of this rivalry someday already if it has another couple chapters in it down the road. Kevin Owens whom I really like is wearing the 'KO' classic shirt. When Cena's music hits, Owens can be heard saying 'get out here John, we all know your act, we've seen it for ten years' and he re-states his desire to be a new champion. It would be great to see the belt change hands here clean. Cena getting his usual chorus of boos and cheers from the kiddos. JBL points out that Owens can give John Cena a losing record against him being one of the only guys in the last 10 years to do that just before the bell rings. The crowd is electric and popping. Owens' attire really is hideous, he's just an ass kicker. A brawler. Not writing as much about this match because I want to try to take it all in, and I'm looking for differences in this match and the first two. Owens hits a DDT on Cena that looks like it could have broken the Champ's neck. But he's up and doing the five moves of doom. Owens top rope flip senton bomb, but Cena gets the knees up. I can't believe Owens does top rope moves. That is the first thing that stood out to me about him, his versatility for a big man. Owens with the five moves of doom on Cena. This guy is over and has the feel that he's going to be for years. Five-knuckle shuffle for Owens, and then he goes for the STFU but Cena counters it into a faceplant and an STF. Owens crawls and makes the ropes.... no he doesn't. Here come the big power moves now. Kevin Owens' moveset in WWE2k16 is going to have a fair amount of Cena power moves in them. Incredible sunset flip by Cena into a two count and kick out. Cena headed for the top rope. Into a sitout powerbomb by Owens. These guys really counter eachother well which leads to great matches between them. That was a high-spot move. I missed it but Cena hit his finisher and Owens kicks out on two. Something has to give here, this has been another really nice match. Cena sits Owens on the top rope, here come the fireworks. Owens with that counter, badass side suplex and Cena out on 2 and 1/2. That's one of the moves that made me love Kevin Owens from the onset of watching him. He's yelling at the crowd or someone now. Pop-up powerbomb countered, but Owens hits a banzai kick and then an FU on Cena, and puts him on the STF in the middle of the ring! Cena crawling and clawing to the ropes. Cena sells it good but of course makes the ropes. Owens looks exhausted after holding the submission for so long. That was good storytelling in my opinion there. Best part of the match. Cena top rope DDT and kicks out with shoulder up. "THIS IS AWESOME" heard for the first time tonight. HUGE clothesline from Owens off a Cena springboard rope move. "Fight Owens Fight" chant starts faintly. I don't know what move that was but it looked like a perfect plex into a neck breaker. Owens just created a move - JBL notes with 'what the hell was that'. Cena kicks out on two. Amazing match, Owens kicks out of another finisher. Give Cena credit for allowing this and building Owens the monster. Cena HUGE clothesline. Owens hits the pop-up powerbomb, Cena kicks out on two. I don't want this match to ever end. Both guys beat up and brawling, this may be the best of the three matches between these guys. Owens up first, something is gonna happen. Grand finale time. "These two may fight all night" Lawler remarks. Cena up and going for the top rope FU. He hits the attitude adjustment off the top rope and OWENS kicks out! Cena a look of shock on his face. Owens is taking over the crowd and the WWE universe here. He has to win this match. Cena talking to the ref about the count. Owens small cradle, Cena kicks out and puts Owens into the STFU again. Owens taps, in a "classic". So tired of seeing Cena win. Good match.
The Miz out for his filler time/Pipers Pit segment
/Tells St. Louis to shut up. He's probably still an act because he's decent on the mic. Miz getting some heat, filling more time. Ryback is off with an injury. God I just know we are going to see Big Show tonight and it's going to suck. Miz mentions Big Show retirement, crowd cheers. Big Show's music just hit. At least he's in street clothes. Why is this segment on now? Big Show lays out Miz. At least that is over with.
And now it's about time for......
WWE World Championship Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins (c)
Rollins' music hits first. He's coming out by himself without J&J. Something big could happen in this match. A heel turn, the authority. My money is on Dean Ambrose trying to cost Rollins the title and Lesnar loses because of it. Everyone has their eyes on this one from the IWC
because of the Undertaker rumors. The Beast's music hits, and here he comes. No t-shirt, just ready to kick ass. Get your suplex city tally ready. Pyrotechnics go off as Michael Cole reminds us that Lesnar has not been pinned or submitted in over 2 and 1/2 years. I did not realize that. The last of the great managers is out behind him, with the last of his clientele; Paul Heyman.
The suplex city count is on. Is it five? Six? Rollins tries to flee with the belt but Brock brings him back to the ring. It's been all one-sided. Rollins lands on his feet on a German suplex attempt and Rollins impressively kicks and hits the knee of Lesnar. It's impressive to see someone dish out punishment to Lesnar, that's why I like a Lesnar match. Lesnar counters the Pedigree into a possible F5 but it gets countered. Rollins is impressive in his own right. I really like Rollins. A couple swan dives into the barricade but Lesnar still into pursuit with suplex number seven. Suplex eight. Suplex nine. Suplex ten. Crowd an announcers counting. There's eleven. He bitch slaps Rollins hard. Suplex twelve. Rollins slaps Lesnar. Suplex thirteen. F5 on Rollins and the chime of the Undertaker. I shouldn't have read the spoilers. Undertaker is in the ring. He looks old as shit. Where did Rollins go? Ruins a good match. Choke slam, followed by Tombstone. Undertaker is so old he can't even barely get up. Tombstone number two after the throat cut. Heyman looks stunned. I think this kind of sucks. Brock looks finished off. No sign of the referee or Rollins. Now we get no finish to our match, but rather Undertaker's music is playing. This is so fucking dumb. Undertaker exits while ruining a guy who hasn't looked human for years. Some storytelling I guess. And the credits roll. Absolutely awful ending.
